Hate & Incontinence on the Campaign Trail

CNN.com - CNN Political Ticker Romney tells anti-abortion activists his conversion is real

Uncle Sean strongly believes the Mitt Romney is just a flip-flopper. Uncle Sean has never flip-flopped on the issue of abortion. Uncle Sean has always believed that our world is becoming overpopulated and that there are only two solutions: eat babies or mandatory abortions. Uncle Sean doesn’t feel the world is so desperate as to start eating babies, yet. So, Uncle Sean has a plan for mandatory abortions for every man. Some of the details of the plan are outlined in the Issues page here. Please feel free to read it. Together we can control the people of this country and stop baby eating before it ever needs to happen.

CNN.com - CNN Political Ticker Edwards: It all comes down to Iowa

Uncle Sean believes that it is a great idea for John Edwards to follow the strategy of 2004 Democratic Candidate John Kerry. We all saw just how well John Kerry did in the 2004 Election. Uncle Sean believes that John Kerry was just the kind of charismatic presidential candidate that John Edwards should be emulating. It will give Uncle Sean a better chance. Also, Uncle Sean would like to talk to his Grandmother, Mr. Edwards. Where is your next show?

CNN.com - CNN Political Ticker Clinton vows to lift ban on stem-cell research

Uncle Sean strongly believes that the children are our future. Children need to learn how to be manipulated as pawns in the political machinations of adults. Unfortunately only a small portion of our nation’s children are exposed to this kind of manipulation in their lives, most often by divorcing parents. Uncle Sean strongly believes he has a plan to increase the use of children for politics at least 100 fold. Uncle Sean applauds Senator Clinton’s attempts to manipulate the issue by using children, but is saddened that Senator Clinton only used one child. It shows a lack of commitment to the exploitation of children for political gain. Uncle Sean would have used no less than 40 children.

CNN.com - CNN Political Ticker Mitt Romney’s wife takes a fall

Uncle Sean strongly believes that America needs strong stage legs so that people don’t fall off and make bad jokes about falling on “da butt in Dubuque.” Uncle Sean’s eyes rolled so fast at that that for a moment he could see his own brain … it was terrifying.